Well No MRI Today...

 So, things didn't quite go as planned today. I got to the MRI place and struggled to be able to lay flat on the table. 

As many know I have been struggling with aspirating since the esophagectomy. Most of the reason for that is because when they took out my esophagus the also removed the top third of my stomach. That part of the stomach contains the flap that basically closes off the stomach and its contents, so it doesn't come back up while it is digesting. The reality of living with it is that I need to stay upright or at a 30-degree angle to let gravity help keep everything where it is supposed to be. 

The second I laid down; I could tell this was going to be an issue. THEN they tried to put the brain MRI immobilizing helmet thing on me. I am not usually claustrophobic, but I struggled with the idea that I might not be able to turn myself or lift up in an emergency and would choke. 

Ultimately, the tech ended up not feeling confident that I could do it, so I didn't get it done. I really hate not being able to accomplish things, especially things that NEED to be done. I feel embarrassed though those who I have said that to this afternoon have done their best to reassure me that it is ok and that I don't need to feel this way. I do though and I am worried and want to get it checked out as soon as possible still. 

Sooo... for now, no MRI done.  I did opt to reschedule for this Friday and will try fasting all day until the 2pm appointment to hopefully not have anything in my stomach to choke on and will also try taking something to help calm my nerves a bit since I really wasn't prepared for how confining the test would actually be. 

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and I ask you all to continue to pray for this Thursday's CT scan and my 2nd attempt at this MRI on Friday. 

Could you also pray for my heart too. It is feeling a bit tender tonight. It's hard to hit up against things that you can't do. I'm kinda stubborn (don't anyone comment on that admission lol). I don't like the reality that my body isn't doing what I want or need it to do anymore. I know tomorrow I will wake up renewed and ready to tackle this again with Gods help. Today I am just feeling sad. 

Also, while I know this is extra...Paul is having eye surgery tomorrow and I would appreciate some prayers lifted up that it goes smoothly and is recovery is smooth and quick. 

We really know how to party over here at the Slot house haha!