Overflowing Cups and God's Very Real Presence

 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Phil 4:6-9)

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I've had some thoughts that I have wanted to express for quite a while. I have struggled with how to word everything to attempt to convey exactly what I want to share using the limitations of our language and available vocabulary. I have decided though that even if my words fail me and I fumble, it needs to be uttered so here I go. 

I've read the scripture above 100's of times. I have tried to anchor to the words and have called them forward for hurting friends and my kids in times of strife and despair. I've even, not proud about this one, used it as a weapon against myself when my anxiety would flare. Dare I say though the biggest travesty I have ever committed regarding this scripture was reading it callously. 

It's very much a roadmap through loss, indecision, suffering and steps into peace. So name your valley! Whatever we encounter in this life that feels too big, too difficult. Wherever we feel incapable, unsure, or too shaky to stand.

Now, Let's break it all down and figure out what to do about it...

Step One: 

Do not be anxious about anything....

So, this is where I usually would focus in. I have a diagnosis of anxiety and I am usually anxious about so many things. However, I have discovered something in this journey that has been monumentally LIFE CHANGING and LIFE BRINGING for me in my situation. God isn't firmly yelling down from heaven "Do not be *mountains quaking, thunder rolling* anxious about anything *echo, echo echo*!!!!" He isn't condemning us when we find ourselves in situations where life overwhelms, and we just don't have strength. He made us and knows how fragile we are and all of our shortcomings. He also is astutely aware of how challenging life is and how situations and our being collide together to create storms.  

Instead, God is reassuring us. He is comforting us like a parent on the edge of a bed after their young one has had a nightmare. He is saying something like: "Do not be anxious about anything. I am here. You can lean on me. Let me guide you through this child" Just a simple change in inflection and tone to reflect the Character of a Father who leaves the 99 for the 1.

Life changing!

Step Two: 

But, in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God..."

Three things have always been challenging about this when I used to read it: 

1. I have always had a hard time praying for myself. Maybe it is self-worth issues, maybe it stems from the childhood view of God I once had as a being set far off, to be feared, who would ultimately judge. Something about that image made me feel insignificant and like he didn't have time to "waste on me."
2. Who wants to offer up thanksgiving when you are in the midst of a valley. When life is hard, and cold and well just plain sucks??
3. Have we not mostly all grown up thinking we were responsible for our lives. We take ownership, we make choices, we figure out solutions. I am a perpetual lay it down, race back over to pick it back up to try my next idea kind of girl. 

Know what's cool about all of that up there ^^^ it's all FALSE!

1. I'm not wasting my time bringing my struggles big or small to God. He isn't sitting waiting for me to fail so he can pull the lever and drop me down into the fiery pit. He "wants that NONE should perish" 

EVEN me. 

                  Even you! 

 He's saying..."in every situation child, talk to me. Let me be a part of it. Meet me in our place (prayer) and let me hold this with you. Let me know what you need, how can I be there for you?"
 

2. God can be good even though our situation is crappy. Let me say that again. God can be good even though our situation is crappy. 

Try this on for size. Think of someone who is your person. They just are the bees knees for you. Maybe they influenced you growing up. Maybe they helped shape you into who you have become. 

Think big.

Got them in mind?  

Ok, now... think of the worst experience you went through in your life. It doesn't have to be a situation involving that person we thought of, just your worst/hardest experience. Did that situation you recalled and you enduring and experiencing it invalidate or lower the person that you had in mind that you adored beyond measure? 

Kind of dumb right? 

So why do we try to invalidate God when we struggle in a fallen world? 

Here is another thought on this as well that I honestly didn't truly realize until this Thanksgiving (told ya I have been contemplating how to word this post for quite awhile!) 

Thanksgiving isn't just accolades; it is a state of being, a posture. It calls us in close to one another and is a place where we can sit among those who know us most and we can just be present. 

So God is talking to us like we talk to our teenagers..."Hey, I see you come to me, tell me your day. Tell me what is going on. Sit in this safe space that has been created with me and tell me what you need. Im here. You do not have to do this alone." Just a simple call to His feet and a reminder of whose you are and His station and desire to be a part of it all with you. We can love and include Him, even here. 

Step Three:

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus..."

Pivotal to this point is understanding that peace doesn't mean taking away. God says here if we invite Him into all of our situations, He will guard our hearts and minds. He will watch over and protect our hearts and minds. He will shield our inner selves from having to bear the full weight and brunt of what it is we are facing. He will also add into the equation His peace. 

Some commentaries liken God's peace to a permanent peace. I think of it as an assurance, a promise that He is in this, that we are His, and that the end is already secured. Do we still have to go through the things...yes. Do we still have to lose some of the time and suffer endings that aren't what we want, even if we did all the other things that I mentioned, yes too. 

But God's guarding and His provision of peace...enables us to cast our eyes beyond the temporary situations. It has by far been the strangest and most appreciated part of this journey for me. 

I can't really describe it, but it's a bit like sweet nectar, nurturing, soothing, and a sweet indulgence that is going to all the places. When my mother had her heart attack in 2017. She was in the hospital, and we had turned on some religious music and she was praising. At one point she was holding up her hands and then just started crying. I asked what was wrong and she smiled from ear to ear and said "Angel, I smell God. " Turns out this is a thing, google it. She then went on to try to explain it, while inhaling sooo deeply to try to describe it. She said it was everything wonderful from all of her moments all rolled up into a single scent. Honeysuckle from the bush in the back of her childhood yard, cookies baked by her mother for a holiday, the smell of her newborns heads when she cuddled them and rocked them to sleep, dirt on a bike spoke on a hot summer day filled with laughter, fresh fallen snow, the cologne worn by her love, and a million other smells... 

Was she still in the hospital? yes. Did that still suck? yes. But God provided her with an abundance of peace right there in that moment that had her elated, comforted, and transported into His arms and along a path of ALL of her happies. 

This journey for me, while I'm waiting for the privilege to smell a bit of God...has been 1000% enveloped by God's peace. I still have got to walk it, but He is present before, behind, beside, all around me and I relish that actuality!

Step Four: 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you"

Still with me? I know this is a long post. I appreciate you coming along for the ride with me this far :) 

 The analogy that I get reading this section is of a feather. We can take a feather and blow on the underside of it and it will soar up above us...but as the air dissipates, gravity kicks in, the weight begins to return, and it begins to sink. We can keep letting the weight act upon it and eventually it will fall to its lowest point, the ground. Or we can speak/ blow air again and it will change trajectory and once again soar. 

Our positive words and thoughts impact our access to God's peace. This is a choice and sometimes it is a very difficult one, I won't lie. But when we can do it, ohhh the outcome, even whilst sitting in the muck. 

It goes one step further though...we are asked to practice what we have learned, received as an inkling/message/urging from God, and to do what other believers have done or emulate how they have acted (translate this part gently as I know there are believers that do not act or practice correctly. This book of the Bible was written by Apostle Paul. So, he was telling those reading specifically to practice what they saw Him doing and to emulate or aspire for the attributes about him that pointed back to Christ...his fruits.) 

It's a road map y'all!!! I feel like we're on the amazing race and have just figured out the clue!! 

It's A way to navigate the bumps and hard roads of life. We do steps 1-4, wash rinse and repeat. Not just once per situation, not just once a day but EVERY THOUGHT about it and in between our thoughts about it we purposely fill our space with all of these last things. 

I'm here to tell you. It is working. The strength and calm you feel from me when we talk about this cancer diagnosis. It is NOT me, It is this. It is Him. The hope that you hear when I am talking about hard statistics and treatments both now and upcoming. It is NOT me. It is this. It is Him. The assurance I have that not only God is here in it, but that ultimately, I will get through it in some fashion. It is NOT me. It is This. It is Him. 

And because of it....

My cup overflows....an adorable chicken mug I might add that was lovingly purchased for me alongside a whole slew of other overflowing adorable mugs because it was a happy.