Sometimes Hope Comes in 9x9 Squares...

One of the things that my mom taught me was how to crochet. She was an avid crocheter. My first memory of crocheting was when I was under 6 yrs. old and living in a small trailer in SC. My mom had painted it a bright yellow and white and inside she had redone the kitchen a vibrant lime (1970s approved lol) green. I have so many happy memories in that little trailer. Looking back, it was definitely where my mom "grew up" and into the beginning of her best self. 

Anyway, my mom had taught me the basic single crochet chain stitch which was a feat in and of itself because she was right-handed, and I was left-handed. I had to turn each of her instructions around in my head before being able to complete it which would throw her off each and every time. My first skein of yarn was a brown and rust and gold variegated pattern. She instructed me to chain the entire skein and when I was done, I would be ready to learn how to begin making my very first blanket. I set about the task, probably more eager to join the blanket making club that my mom and Nana were in than to actually learn to master the holding of and moving the yarn through my fingers and around the hook. 

In the evenings, we would sit on the brown leather couch with hooks in hand and I would do my best to move my arms and flip my fingers to match my mother's speed. At bedtime she would indulge me and take the beginning end of the chain and walk as far as it would stretch away from me. After each session it would grow just a bit longer. I remember the joy as it crossed out of the living room and into the kitchen. I remember giggling as her walk took her down into the hall where I could no longer see her. With each accomplishment my determination grew. 

A little other something about my mom. She was always a great encourager. I think that might be why I miss her so very much as I face this journey. Once you had experienced it, you craved more of it and I think the rest of my yarn skein was done just to hear her delight as she praised my efforts, commented on my even stitches, and clapped for me as I was able to take my eyes off my hands and the efforts to bend and twist the yarn became smoother and more automatic. 

 Ima slide off topic a minute but come, join me...if you weren't lucky enough to meet her, you might just get a glimpse of her essence. 

My mom's life was hard. She was hit with a lot of adversities at different point and times.  I have often pondered and fretted (yes, it is an old word lol) trying to understand why a single soul would have to go through so much. Yet somehow, she managed to always remain standing, could always latch on to something good, a mantra that to the outside observer made one think she was so very strong. I remember at one point in high school, it was almost Christmas, and situationally things were bleak. 

She had separated from my stepdad, wrecked/totaled our only car and we were paying out of pocket weekly for a rental, THEN we had come home to the second floor of our house collapsed and standing water everywhere (a literal waterfall cascading down our stairs and a fountain pouring out of every remaining first floor light fixture--the washer hose had burst on the second floor.) It took 9-10 months to finish and we were forced to live in a one room hotel. My stepdad emotionally took a real turn for the worst as well.  ... Now that the stage and many of the struggles and dynamics are set...the point...

My mom, in that hotel room, made it seem like a treat and a magical time for especially my little sisters in that space. We bought a tabletop tree at the local drug store, hooks, mini lights, construction paper, and glue and we cut and decorated our own holiday ornaments. I was old enough that I saw from both the perspective of it was necessary as we had very little money AND all of our belongings were mostly trashed. 

But I also saw it from the magical side where she just seemingly had a never-ending fountain of love that she just poured onto us. You would have thought that tree we all made was the one at Rockefeller and soon the sterile confining walls of that little hotel room was transformed into a safe place for us to retreat, soothe, and experience an abundance of love. It is, to this day, the Christmas that stands out the most to me and the one that I go to when I try to bring forward a bit of "Christmas spirit" to sprinkle into my Christmas' forever more after. 

There was a something else I began to understand about her in that season...the more she poured out onto someone the more reserve she seemed to have to access for the next person. 

I still am in awe of her. That was just my mom and THAT is who poured over my every stitch and showed and reshowed me how to move my hands. Before I knew it, I had finished the skein. My finished work stretched from one end of the trailer to the other, wrapped once around the window lock in the back bedroom, came all the way to the other end of the trailer, wrapped once around the window lock on that side and went halfway into the kitchen!!!!

 I know this because she walked each step of that excitedly...all THREE times I had her do that:) We ultimately cut out little cardboard circles then wound the chained yarn around gluing it into the circles and made handmade coasters for family for Christmas presents. My grandad (her father) kept his until the day he died then it was returned to me, and now resides tucked away neatly in my keepsake box. And, true to her word, my mama taught me to make a blanket next and the process started all over again with her pouring into me. 

In 2017 my mother had a heart attack and a fractured back from a fall and was hospitalized. As a source of encouragement for her, my sisters and I reached out to friends and family asking for anyone who had received one of her blankets to send us a snap of them with their meme blanket. We printed all the pictures and arranged them on a poster to make a huge get-well card for her room. It was a joy to give back to her and her smile was beautiful. 

In her later years, she and I and sometimes even some of my kiddos who have also learned to crochet would spend the whole year making lap sized blankets to donate to nursing homes around the holidays. In fact, this is a picture of the stack of them she was finishing off the strings on to donate in 2020! Did I forget to mention we both crochet faster when we get anxious or bored and well lol 2020 was certainly the year for that. lol 

Fast forward, A few months ago I began working on those little granny square blocks in the first picture. I stopped short of connecting them all and have since worked on several other blankets and even made some pumpkin sets for family. They have just been stacked in my yarn/craft space waiting patiently for their purpose to be realized. 

This weekend in looking for cancer resources I came across a website for free/low-cost cancer resources. I am actually amazed, and my heart is overflowing looking at all the organizations that rally around those who are experiencing this journey. I bookmarked the page so when I feel led as I meet people, I can connect them or surprise them with little gifts. You can nominate someone to get a hat/scarf, a care package, there is a database of photographers that will come to capture moments in the journey for families, retreats to surround family members and to love extra kids whose parent is facing this diagnosis and well so, so many more.

However, one of the first links/organizations I saw was a crocheted blanket program. You basically go nominate a person and they send them a handmade crochet comfort blanket. It caught my eye because it was something I could do to help someone who is in the midst of a similar journey who may not have the support network I do. And, I guess if I were honest, it is me channeling a bit of my sweet mama too. When life piles on top choose to love anyway and to do so abundantly. 

I clicked over to the ways to help tab. It seems they can accept both full-sized blanket donations, cash and 9x9 crocheted squares that they can stitch together with other people's squares to make a blanket (doesn't that just sound nice the idea of a collaborated blessing blanket.)

Then those little squares I had made months ago and never connected into a full blanket came to mind. I grabbed them and the yard stick even though I kinda already knew. 

You guessed it, they were all 9x9 squares...of course they were. 

So today, I am packing up 36 9x9  crocheted granny squares to mail to this organization to bring people just a bit of extra love and smiles. 

SO, like the title says...do you crochet? 

If you would like to donate some 9x9 squares, I would be honored to have you join me in stitching them. Below is the link to all the particulars. 

They even have videos if you aren't an avid crocheter but would like to learn and do some. And...they don't have to be any particular stitch, just a particular size so they connect together well with other donated squares that come in. 

The link lists where to send it as well though if you are one of those who either doesnt want their name attached to their giving or who sits packages for months in the backseat of the car waiting to remember to go to the post office, you are welcome to bring them by my house and I will mail them with mine as I do more too. 

Love you all! 

Link to donating a blanket:

How To Get Involved (pinkwarriorsbattle.com)